


The taste of freedom

by halfsynth



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Infidelity, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Pendragons are not rich, Prison, Robbery, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 09:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14422077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsynth/pseuds/halfsynth
Summary: “This is my partner, Merlin.”That’s how started.Is not like Arthur believes in love at first sight but the second he saw Merlin his stomach flipped. It was unfair such a gorgeous man was already taken, especially taken by his best friend.But it was the moment Merlin smiled to him when Arthur knew he was screwed.





	The taste of freedom

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so I'm sure you'll find spelling and grammatical errors. Please correct me :)
> 
> I wrote this as a birthday gift for my beta reader, Rine.

“This is my partner, Merlin.”

That’s how started.

 

Is not like Arthur believes in love at first sight but the second he saw Merlin his stomach flipped. It was unfair such a gorgeous man was already taken, especially taken by his best friend.

But it was the moment Merlin smiled to him when Arthur knew he was screwed.

 

Lance lived in Ealdor for three years during his veterinary degree, and met Merlin when he started visiting Merlin’s uncle Gaius’s farm as the local vet’s assistant. Lance said they got along very well and told Arthur how wonderful, smart and funny Merlin was, and how he couldn’t help falling in love with him. Arthur was extremely happy for his best friend but he didn’t expect Lancelot to move in with his boyfriend so soon. They wrote letters and talked by phone very often and Lance never mentioned it, nor even sent a photo of him and Merlin, so for Arthur he was Lance’s faceless boyfriend, until that day…

 

The moment Lancelot and Merlin moved definitely to Camelot, they rented a house between the town centre and the outskirts. It was a lovely house made for families and dogs, with a small cute garden and water source for birds. Everything was perfect around them: their families, their group of friends and the barbecue Sunday.

Arthur hung out with them a lot, and it was fine the first months but there was a day he couldn’t deny his attraction to Merlin anymore. They became close friends, sometimes they’d spend a day together when Lance was working on farms, or they'd watch movies at the couple’s house waiting for Lancelot to return from a short trip. Merlin would visit Arthur when the blond caught a cold, or they’d go running together, or they’d just sit and talk about their problems. Arthur wanted to kick himself for his unfettered desire for his best friend’s partner; he wasn’t happy for Lance anymore and he felt like the worst person on earth.

It wasn’t only Arthur, though.

Merlin wasn’t the subtlest person in the world, and that’s why Arthur caught Merlin looking at him while Lance was distracted. So it was mutual, but no one acted on it, no one wanted to hurt Lancelot, so sweet poor Lancelot.

 

“We can’t do anything, Arthur.”

“I know.”

“I’m with him.”

“Sadly, I know.”

Merlin remains silent. They’re sitting in a park bench, watching their dogs playing together. Arthur wonders why they can’t be happy as their pets.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. And no.”

Is Arthur’s turn to be quiet.

“I loved him. We were more than fine, we came here and everything was so good… And you appeared. I don’t know what it is with you but I want to find out. I look at you and I just- I can’t compare it to the things I feel for Lance. He’s gentle and nice and never gets angry, he’s perfect. But you’re passionate, and you tease me and you talk to me straight and… I want that. And it’s wrong.”

“I like you, you like me. It shouldn’t be wrong.”

“Lance doesn’t deserve it.”

“No.”

 

They promised they’ll move on. Arthur would go on dates and Merlin would spend his life with Lance.

 

*

 

Seven months later

 

"Wanna come over?"

"Yes."

That’s all the said over the phone.

These days have been miserable. Lance and Merlin had a fight because of Guinevere, Lance’s new client's daughter. She was all smiles and laughs when Lance was outside doing the check-ups on the cows: she would bring him lemonade and invite him for lunch, and he couldn’t say no. Lance found it friendly, aside from Merlin’s _alleged_ annoyance.

"How would you feel if I had lunch with a, and I quote, 'very nice girl that only wants to be friends because she's new in town'?"

"She's is kind and that’s all, why are you like this? There's no reason to be jealous."

 

The thing is Merlin wasn't jealous. He just acted like any boyfriend would act and he felt terribly bad. He knew Lance was incapable of cheating, and to make things worse, Merlin wanted Lance to be the one who cheats so he could go to Arthur without guilt.

Hypocrite.

 

"Lance would never cheat on you, he loves you deeply."

"That’s the problem."

"So you don't love him anymore?"

"No, Arthur."

"Talk to him, please. None of us three deserve this."

"Every time I tried I chickened. Back in Ealdor he did a lot of things for me, he saved my uncle's farm, he made me happy -

"But not anymore?"

"No."

"I can’t go on like this, Merlin. I’m sorry he’s my best friend, I’m sorry you are together but I want to be selfish. I can’t take someone home because I think of you, because I want to make love to you and wake up next to you-"

"Please don’t, Arthur."

"I don’t want to hurt Lancelot, God knows I don’t, but I want to be happy too."

"This is so wrong."

 

For the moment, they were just words. Picturing Lance's disappointed look was enough to forget the fantasy of running away together, but life always gets in the way.

 

Is winter and the moon shines high in the sky. Two friends kiss for the first time and is the most magical moment of their lives.

They kiss shyly, like their lips are made of glass. It becomes wild and passionate seconds after; they devour each other’s mouths. Clothes are an obstacle now, and they take time to strip one another glazing at the new exposed skin. Sun kissed and pale skin.

They look at their lover's body, saving the picture deep in their own memories. They fall on the bed, one above the other, touching as much as their hands can reach. They know this won’t happen again, so they savor every single moment of this magic night: the sounds, the breathing, the touches, the whispers and words of love, passion and melancholy.

They hear a claxon outside and stare at each other, soon the car leaves and the street is silent again. The sudden noise invaded their veins with adrenaline and they start kissing furiously.

Noises from the other's mouth made them feel the waiting was worth. The way their bodies fit, the synchronized moans, the slight contrast of skin tone, the trembling and the final shout, the erratic breath and the kiss of love.

They have tears in their eyes.

"Don't, please."

"Sorry."

"Shh."

 

Arthur inhales Merlin's scent as it was an exquisite fragrance. They lie in Arthur’s bed, limbs tangled, the blond on his side hugging Merlin's middle.

"I wish I could stay forever here."

"Don't you love me, Merlin?"

"You know I do."

"Then shut up. This is a one night thing and hurts too much. If you say that we'll both cry and I want to pretend that tomorrow will never come."

 

So they fall asleep in each other's arms, afraid of the morning after when reality hits them on the face.

 

*

 

"Arthur Pendragon?"

Two officers knocked on Arthur’s door. The blond cried on his own for hours after Merlin left that morning and still had red eyes.

"Yes."

"You're under arrest for the robbery at Ross’s Antiques.”

 

Arthur walked in the station handcuffed. Robbery?

The officer told him to wait in the interrogation room until the sergeant arrives, alone in the dark with only one light above his head. He had to fight the urge of falling asleep on the table. He knew this was a misunderstanding and didn't matter how many times he'd tell the police he didn't do anything, he wouldn't be allowed to go.

The sergeant arrived in the morning.

 

"How you plead to your charges?"

"What?"

"Robbery and attempt against life."

"I didn't do anything!

The man looked straight to Arthur and opened his coat. He took a bag out and threw on the table.

"Do you recognize it?"

 

Arthur’s gun.

He had it in his deposit box, which was hidden behind the nightstand. He used to practice shooting when he was younger but he didn't touch it in years, he didn’t even know if it still had munitions. But how did someone break in his house and took the gun? Who knew the gun was there? And why. Who would want to incriminate Arthur like this?

"That's..."

"Your pistol, we know. Not very smart of you, son. Now tell me why did you attack the shop."

"I didn't, I would never-

"Oh, the evidence says otherwise."

"I swear I-

"Where have you been the night before yesterday?"

 

He didn't answer.

The second he says Merlin's name, the police would go after him and Lance can never find out about that night. Merlin would hate him for ruining their lives; no, Arthur can't drag him into this.

 

"I'll ask you once again, where have you been the night before yesterday?"

_In my bed with the man I love._

"If you don't talk they'll give you ten years.”

 

And for ten long years he'll count the days.

 

*

 

Morgana visited him before he was transferred to the state prison, which was located in the middle of three hills, completely isolated from society.

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Leave it."

"Leave it? Leave it?! You're going to prison for a stupid robbery you didn't commit and you tell me to 'leave it'? Are you out of your mind?"

"Morgana, I can't."

"You don't talk to me, you reject a lawyer, is like you want to go to prison! What I'm going to tell father when he returns?"

"Nothing.”

"I don't understand, for God's sake Arthur, don't do this to me!" Her voice broke; tears fell from her green eyes.

"I'll be back. I love you and father, okay? But do something for me: tell Merlin and Lance and the others that I accepted the job in the Antarctic Base. Tell Merlin I had to, and if he wants, and if you will, you'll deliver his letters to me. That's all I ask, Morgana, please."

 

*

 

Years pass and with them, Arthur's life.

He receives letters from Merlin and Lance and other friends. They say they miss him and ask him to come back from the land of ice. It was a good excuse having a job offer from UK's Antarctic Base, an opportunity Arthur's waited for since he got his degree in atmospheric science.

That dream seems so far from coming true right now.

And every night he re-reads some of Merlin's letters, the ones that he kept hidden from his cellmate, who enjoyed reading and tearing them.

 

 

 

_February 28, 1985._

_Arthur,_

_I guess this was the best? Being apart until we move on?_

_There are a lot of things I want to say and I don’t know how. Should we forget each other and go on with our lives like that night never happened? Would be easier that way?_

_We agreed to not to talk about this again but I'm not your friend, I’m your lover now._

_I’m sorry I made you wait so long. Maybe is because I can’t see you as I used to, maybe is because I miss you so damn much or because my heart only belongs to you or all the above, but I'll break up with him. I’ll be waiting for you, if you'll have me._

_\- Merlin._

 

And Arthur’s response was:

 

_March 13, 1985._

_Merlin,_

_I won’t be back for years._

_I can’t ask you to wait for me. Do this because of you, nor Lance or me. Perhaps you'll have feelings for him again and you won’t lose that wonderful man he is. Perhaps you’ll find someone else._

_Sorry it had to end this way._

_I love you._

_\- Arthur._

 

_March 16, 1985._

_Arthur,_

_I don’t love him. You’re the one I want and you can’t change my mind._

_After all the time you asked me to talk to him you want me to shut up? I finally have the guts to tell him the truth and I will._

_I don’t care how much time I have to wait._

_\- Merlin._

 

From then on, Arthur didn’t reply anymore. He couldn’t give hope to Merlin when he didn’t know if he’ll be free in ten years, he couldn’t ask Merlin to wait for him, so he decided to let him go.

 

_June 3, 1985._

_Arthur,_

_We broke up._

_He knew._

_I'm renting a flat by myself._

_When are you coming home?_

_\- Merlin._

_August 12, 1985._

_Arthur,_

_I don't know how often you receive our letters or if you don’t have time to write back. I guess science keeps you occupied._

_We sold the farm so mom, dad and Uncle Gaius are moving to Camelot with me._

_I want to introduce you._

_I love you._

_\- Merlin._

 

 

_December 24, 1985._

_Arthur,_

_Merry Christmas._

_Hope you are well._

_I remember our night and I’d die to feel your hands on me again, your breath against my neck, your lips pressed to mine. You’re that guy that comes into someone’s life and turns it upside down._

_When you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for 30 or 40 or 50 years, alright, one of them says ‘I knew.’ I knew. Right from the beginning…  I’m that one. Arthur, I’m that one. I know. 1_

_And I still love you._

_\- Merlin._

 

_April 2, 1986._

_Arthur,_

_I wish I know the reason you don’t write back._

_Know that I miss you with all I have. My bed is small and cold. The house doesn’t feel like home._

_Please come back soon, it’s been too long._

_\- Merlin._

_September 16, 1986._

_Arthur,_

_What did I do in my previous life to have the fortune of meeting you?_

_I must be a lucky bastard._

_\- Merlin._

_November 1, 1986._

_Arthur,_

_I would have liked to meet your sister before._

_We hung out a couple times and though she’s completely crazy, I like her. I wish I could tell her about us, you know._

_The longer time goes by, I regret more for not speaking before._

_\- Merlin._

_February 15, 1987._

_Arthur,_

_I wonder if I should keep writing._

_I wish I know what are you doing know._

_I wish a lot of things but I can’t get what I want unless time-travel machines become a safe mean of transport._

_Don’t write me a bible 2, Arthur, just tell me we’ll be together once you are back._

_\- Merlin._

_July 20, 1987._

_Arthur,_

_I dreamt of you._

_We were in some paradisiac island and you wanted to surf and got mad because there weren't instructors that day._

_I kissed your pout off._

_\- Merlin._

 

_October 7, 1987._

_Arthur,_

_I got it._

_I wish I was braver._

_I lost you, didn’t I? I lost you the second I walked out of your house._

_\- Merlin._

 

 

_January 23, 1988._

_Arthur,_

_Morgana says she delivers all the letters and I have no reason to not believe her, so I came to the conclusion you don’t want to hear of me anymore._

_I won’t bother you again._

_Have a nice life. Be happy._

_\- Merlin._

Arthur didn’t bother to stop his tears of rage, sadness and sorrow every time he read the last letter.

 

*

When Merlin met Morgana to give her the last letter, she noticed Merlin’s red eyes. She wasn’t aware about Arthur and Merlin’s relationship, she thought they were just good friends.

But it was Merlin’s devastated expression that made her think otherwise. He was the only one who kept writing to Arthur while the rest stopped after a few months; she didn’t hear of Lancelot in a while, wasn’t he Arthur’s best friend?

Maybe Merlin wasn’t just a friend…? Maybe he was that guy…?

She needed to know; maybe he was the only one who could convince Arthur to confess.

Morgana had a hard time keeping this secret. For the first three months she pretended that Arthur would reason and accept her damn help. Of course he didn’t.

But when Uther returned to Camelot she hugged him and cried like she had never done before. She told him everything she knew and Uther saw red.

The father-son encounter was tense. Uther shouted at him for being so selfless and made him talk.

Nor Uther or Morgana could believe it. They both were angry, but she felt compassion for her brother's big and broken heart. She was mad at the guy Arthur spent that night with, and she kept calm while Uther contacted a lawyer and the investigation begun.

But without Arthur’s confession, there’s nothing the lawyer could do.

So she read the letter before delivering it to Arthur.

 

*

 

"Hi, Merlin."

“Morgana. Come in.”

"We need to talk."

_Something happened to Arthur._

She rejected a cup of tea and sat on the sofa. Merlin was nervous as fuck. Morgana looked so sad and angry he didn’t know what to say, what to ask.

“Arthur is in prison.”

“What?!”

“And you need to help me to convince him to confess.”

“I don’t understand what I have to do with this, he didn’t write me in years-

“He’s never been in the Antarctica. He was accused of a robbery he didn’t commit.”

“No, it can’t be.”

“He’s been there all this time. My father hired a lawyer but Arthur won’t testify. He said he was with this mysterious man the night of the robbery but he won’ tell us his name; he says the man’s was a one nightstand and he doesn’t know how to contact him.” She talked making direct eye contact with Merlin, as her gaze could read his mind. “But that’s not the truth. You have been writing to Arthur at least twice a month; the only one who kept writing. Why? His best friend stopped talking to him, his childhood friend. And yesterday you looked so defeated… I read your letter.”

Merlin dropped his gaze to the ground. Arthur was in prison because of him? He was the one who could verify his alibi and Arthur lied to him because… Why? There was no reason. Merlin knew very well he himself wasn’t worth it.

He stopped a tear rolling down his cheek.

 

“You’re that guy, Merlin, aren’t you?”

“Why you never told me?”

“He asked us to not to. Believe me, I would have dragged you to the station house the same day if Arthur’d had told us your name.”

“I need to see him-

“Tomorrow you’re going to the station with me, Merlin Emrys. You can see him after you testify, understood? My brother won’t stay there more than necessary.”

“I’ll be there first hour.”

They talk a little more. Morgana told him how hard was to see Arthur in his prison cell: he was growing a beard and he didn’t care a lot of his torn clothes. He wasn’t the Arthur she knew, but a shadow of him.

Merlin told her the whole story and she didn’t judge him. Morgana saw the way Merlin’s eyes shone when he talked about his feelings for Arthur, how did they fell in love but they ignored it in order to not hurt Lancelot, the moment they decided to let the passion guide them for only one night and the morning after, when they said goodbye.

 

_“Okay. Okay, let’s do this.”_

_“Merlin, don’t.”_

_“Everything changed.”_

_“We’ll still be friends.”_

_Merlin nods. He’s fighting the urge to grab Arthur’s keys, kidnap him and drive with no destination. This wouldn’t be happening if Merlin simply talks with Lance, knowing he’d get mad but would understand. Merlin and Arthur would be together with no fear of being caught._

_“We have an agreement. We are not going to talk about this never again. I hate to see you like this, so please go and we’ll wait two or three weeks to meet again. As friends.”_

_“Worst agreement ever.”_

_“I love you, okay? Go.”_

 

*

 

Arthur was used to Morgana’s Monday visits, he almost loved seeing her sister’s angry face. Today was different though, because when he walked into the room and saw Merlin his world fell apart.

“M-Merlin?”

“Nice to see you too, Arthur.”

Merlin looked older. His curly hair was longer, gently covering his ears, his features were more defined but his eyes were the same intense blue. Why was he here? Did Morgana _…? Of course she did._

“What are you doing here?”

“Such a coincidence! I’m here to ask you the same question.”

”Please, Mer-“

“All the time I spent waiting for you to come back home… I thought you were working so hard in the Antarctica, I was happy for you. I was ready to let you go.”

Arthur just stared at him. His excuse was simply: _I didn’t want to bring you trouble_.

“Why you didn’t tell me?”

“Lance would have known everything.”

“And you think that was more important than your freedom? Arthur, I loved you. I still do, goddammit! I wouldn’t have cared about Lance.” _I still do_ were the words Arthur got stuck into and his brain froze. “Arthur!”

“Sorry?”

“What’s wrong with you? Why you didn’t tell me about this?”

“He was my friend too, Merlin. I didn’t want to put any of you through this.”

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”

“Mer-

“You obviously had the chance to write back. You made me think you didn’t want me.”

“I have to stay for more than five years here, I would never ask you to wait for me.”

“You won’t. I testified. They’ll reopen the case.”

 

“ _My name’s Merlin Emrys. I was the man Arthur Pendragon slept with the night of the robbery. We stayed in bed until dawn and had breakfast together.”_

_“Why you didn’t confirm the accused’s alibi during the first trial?”_

_“I was never informed. I was told Arthur was working at the UK’s Antarctic Base.”_

_“And you could have never suspected they were lying to you?”_

_“No. All his friends were told the same. Besides, because the nature of our relationship I took it as he was going away to not see me anymore.”_

_“What do you mean by ‘the nature of our relationship’?”_

_“I had another partner. Arthur’s best friend.”_

_“And who, besides you Mr. Emrys, can verify this alibi?”_

_“His neighbor, Mrs. Rawson…”_

“You what?!”

“Honestly, you thought I was going to sit and do nothing?” Arthur didn’t reply. He didn’t want to say anything, but Merlin exactly sat and did nothing about his feelings for Arthur.

And as if he had read Arthur’s mind…

“I was a coward once. Not anymore. I won’t lose you again. You deserve better, and I’ll do whatever is in my power to make it up to you.”

“I made the choice, Merlin, there’s nothing to make up for.”

“I don’t care. Because of me you spent four years in prison and I won’t –

“It’s done.”

“It isn’t done!  Why are you acting like this?”

“Leave it, Merlin.”

“We’ll get you out.”

 

“Time’s up.”

 

Arthur cried in his cell. Merlin cried in his bed.

 

*

 

Arthur’s lawyer was working very hard on proving his innocence. Even if they had no prove besides the owner’s shop account and Arthur’s gun, which could have been used by someone else, the judge wasn’t very convinced.

While the blond was still waiting in prison, Merlin visited a place he had never been before.

 

By the water fountain was a bench were Merlin was sat watching the birds. Is the first time he comes to Camelot’s church, a peaceful place located in the middle of a park. Merlin wasn’t a man of God, he only needed some peace of mind.

 

“Was troubles you, son?”

“I’m a bad person, father.”

“Why’s that?”

“I did awful things to a beloved one and I can’t fix it.”

“What did you do?”

“He spent years in prison because of me. I was the only one who could verify his alibi but he didn’t want me to get in trouble.”

“It wasn’t your choice.”

“Indirectly, it was.”

“Why do you think that?”

“We lied to a third person which both of us appreciated.”

“You can speak freely to me.”

 

Merlin considered it. That’s why he came, didn’t he?

 

“I was dating a man, and when we move to Camelot he introduced me to his best friend. Time passed and I fell in love with him, an even if we agreed to don’t do anything, one night we couldn’t help it anymore. The next day he was accused of a robbery committed the night we slept together. He didn’t confess so they gave him ten years.”

“You never knew?”

“No. He said he wanted me to stay out of it.”

“Don’t be mad, son. His sacrifice was a proof of love and, I assume, a way to pay for the treason against his friend.”

“What?”

“We all pay for our sins, one way or another. He paid with his freedom; you paid being lied.”

“It was my fault, I should have talked.”

“Yes, you should have, but now you must help him. Be there for him.”

“I’ll do anything to get him out but father, but what else can I do? I feel guilty, disgusted with myself.”

“With time, you’ll forgive yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. You made a mistake and learnt from it.”

“Will you absolve me from my sins?”

“Do you regret hiding your real feelings? Do you regret being unfaithful to your formal partner?”

“Yes… And no. I don’t regret that night.”

“Then I can’t do anything. Besides, God is who can truly do that.”

“Then he won’t. Isn’t bedding men a sin too?”

“God is love, and He’ll be the judge of that. You don’t seem the person that will follow this old man advice, are you?”

“I’m not a religious person.”

“Yet God is there for you, even if you don’t believe.”

“Sometimes, with all the things I’ve been through, I doubt there’s a god.”

“1 Corinthians 10:13.  ‘ _You have been put to no test but such as is common to man: and God is true, who will not let any test come on you which you are not able to undergo; but he will make with the test a way out of it, so that you may be able to go through it._ ’”

“You believe that?”

“Yes.”

“It was a very hard test, then. Sometimes I wanted to drown myself in the river.”

“Yet you didn’t, that shows your strength. Don’t forget, son, God works in mysterious ways.”

 

*

 

Arthur is released two weeks later.

His alibi was confirmed.

Ross’s Antiques’ owner dropped the charges.

 

Arthur and Merlin didn’t saw each other until four days after Arthur’s release, only because Morgana arranged the meeting. They both were being idiots: Merlin thought Arthur didn’t want to see him again, and Arthur thought he ruined Merlin’s life because of the lie.

Obviously they didn’t say anything.

 

“Come in.”

Arthur’s house looked exactly the same: warm and welcoming.

Merlin stood by the closed door, waiting for Arthur’s invitation to sit and feel at home. He knew they’ll have to talk, but he was unsure about the future. Will they be friends again? Will they be together? Will Arthur tell him to fuck off?

“Are you gonna stay there?”

“I was waiting for you to invite me in.”

“I lost count of how many times you’ve been here, just get in.”

 

Merlin didn’t want to come inside as if he were at home, stupid as it sounds, but he had his reasons. He shyly walked to the dinner room, not the sofa; he didn’t want to sit next to Arthur.

 

“Okay, then. Tea?”

“No, I’m here to talk.” The blond sighed and sat in front of Merlin.

“If you’re going to say I’m a git and all the synonyms, save it. I heard it from my father and Morgana.”

“Why did you do it, Arthur?”

“Is still not clear to you?”

“Nothing is clear anymore.”

“Merlin.” Arthur leaned over the table and took Merlin’s hands in his; he looked at his _friend? lover? ex lover?_ with wonder in his eyes. This was the first time in who-knows-how-long he had time alone with the man he loved for years, the man he still loves like those years never passed.

Truth be told, Arthur longed for the day of seeing Merlin again, even if he wasn’t allowed to touch him anymore. Arthur would have been happy with Merlin smiling, no matter whom that smile belonged to.

 

“Do you think I don’t love you anymore?”  
“There were years of silence from you.”  
“Listen. Listen and look me in the eyes.” Arthur tightened the grip. “It’s an awful place, I didn’t want you to see me there; besides, we had an agreement.”  
“I came the following afternoon and you weren’t here, nor the day after, no one picked up the phone and Morgana told me you went away. I tried to understand why but I couldn’t help feeling you didn’t care anymore; no phone calls, no letters. And then I know you’ve been in prison because of me, I thought you hated me. You should hate me.”  
“I love you too much for that.” Merlin dropped is gaze. “I didn’t want to you to drag into this, it was my problem, not yours. I preferred to be away than ruin your life.”  
“You ruined yours.”  
“You saved me anyway.”  
“I could have done it at the beginning.”  
“I read your letters every night, it was the only thing that kept me sane. Your hope, your love… I couldn’t ask you to wait. The ten years could have turned into fifteen, and twenty and so on.”  
Merlin cried. The weight on his shoulders was still there.

“Come here, silly.” Arthur smiled and got up; he took Merlin in his arms and hugged him for what seemed like an eternity.

That night they made love again. They showed passion and desire, they fought for domination, they marked each other’s skin with bruises of possession and longing. They simply said I love you and I missed you and never let me go in the language of touching.

 

*

 

Next morning, during breakfast, _is time to tell him_ , Arthur thought.  
He always had his doubts, his suspicions. After months of thinking he came to a conclusion he wasn’t happy about.  
“They didn’t found the thief.”  
“I don’t think they’ll find him, justice is for the rich.”  
“Hm. I may have someone in mind but… You won’t like it. I don’t like it.”  
“Who?”  
“There’s only one person who knew about the gun: Lance.”  
“Lance did it.” Merlin agreed, he didn’t need to think twice.  
“It’s just a feeling.”  
“When I broke up with him… He said he knew it. I've never seen him like that before.”  
“What happened?”

 

_“I cheated on you.”_   
_“Arthur and you. Can’t say I’m surprised.”_   
_“You know. How?”_   
_“The way you looked at each other… I’m not blind, Merlin.”_   
_“We tried to avoid it. We never wanted to hurt you.”_   
_“Oh, but you did. You lied to me. You told me you loved me but you wanted him.”_   
_“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wish I had told you sooner.”_   
_“Well, it hurts. I knew you liked him but honestly, I didn’t think you would cheat on me. You both broke me.”_   
_“I didn’t think I would do it, I just couldn’t help it anymore-_   
_“Don’t give me the details, goddamit!” Lance got up and violently throw a glass against the wall._   
_“I’m sorry. I loved you.”_   
_“Get out of here.”_

_Merlin packed quickly some clothes and before putting a foot outside the house, Lance smiled at him._   
_“You both will pay for this. You’re already paying for this.”_

 

  
“…I’m going to kill him, Arthur.”  
“We’ll go see him. But you are staying right next to me.”

 

*

 

Lance lives in the town centre, next to his vet clinic.  
Arthur and Merlin walked in and the vet just stared. None of the three say a word until Lance cleared his throat.

  
“So you’re back.”  
“Never left.”  
“I don’t think you’re here to say hi.”  
“We are here to ask you something, then we’ll leave.”  
“You did it. You incriminated him!” Merlin couldn’t control himself and stepped closer to the desk, but Arthur caught him by the arm.  
“What makes you think that?”  
“You were the one who knew about my gun.”  
“We were best friends, weren’t we?”  
“I thought I knew you, Lance.”  
“You took my boyfriend away from me and I put you in prison. I guess you never really know someone.”  
“You won’t deny it?!”  
“What for, Merlin?”  
“You disgust me.”  
“You disgusted me the second you left me for my best friend. And you, Arthur, you knew me your entire life, you couldn’t say something?”  
“He didn’t talk because I asked him to. It was my fault the whole cheating thing, yet you ruined his life! He was in prison! For four years!”  
“Hm, but you got what you wanted in the end.”

Merlin was red, clenched fists and white knuckles; he looked like he was going to explode. That was what made Arthur count to ten and breathe in before he punched Lancelot in the face. Above all, he never expected this reaction from him.

The three men were in silence, the tension was palpable in the air until they heard a sweet voice.  
“Hun, I’m back! Oh, you have clients. Sorry! I’ll be... Um. Sorry.” The woman apologised and smiled and walked quickly to the room in the back.  
“Yeah, that’s my girlfriend. Do you know who she is, Merlin? That’s Gwen, from the farm.”  
Before Merlin could respond, Arthur talked.  
“I thought you weren’t into women.” Lance laughed.  
“Well, you never know who you are going to fall in love with. You both know that very well.”

“I’m sorry, Lance, for everything. I hope you are having a nice life.” With the constant provocation, things were going to end bad and Arthur didn’t want more trouble. He sighed and told Merlin it was time to go.  
“But wait a second. He confessed, aren’t you going to tell the police?”  
“That’s right, Ross’s owner is a friend of mine. Awesome guy.”  
“You could go to jail now, Lancelot.” Merlin snapped. “Arthur?”  
“We all got what we deserved. Let’s go home, Merlin, is not worth it.”

 

*

 

That night, when they lie together after a delicious dinner, some cups of red wine, a slow dance and a I-got-you-now promise, they cuddle in the bed in a tight embrace. Arthur remembers the cold and endless nights in prison, the screams and curses, awful meals, fights with other prisoners, Merlin’s letters, dreams of freedom and love, and now he’s here, in his bed, with the man he loves.  
They were together and nothing else mattered; the warm and the heart beating was enough to comfort two lovers that had a new chance, two lovers that were _free_.

 

* * *

 

_1_ : Is a quote from Bones, episode 100. I modified it a little bit.

_2_ : Is the literal translation of an expression we use here, referred to don’t writing a very long text (or giving a full explanation of something).

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! All comments are appreciated :)
> 
> This fic was inspired by ‘Over the Hills and Far Away’.  
> Listen to it [here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IocRCDWB5k)  
> Hurdy-gurdy [version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec729nmajwc) (highly recommended)


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